Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
