I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
