the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you win again, gameday.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
