i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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