Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
