i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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