Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I AM VODKA MAN
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
