Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
no you cant smoke seaweed
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
