Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the day after is always just damage control
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
