you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
