You made me cry and you don't even care
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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