Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
