So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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