i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
