it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
