im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
