As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
