I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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