ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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