either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Randomize
