if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
why is half of my head shaved?
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