i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
