well you can't waste a boner
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
