Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
