Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
