Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
