I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just pee around me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
