to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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