But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
