I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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