Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
