I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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