You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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