My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
