I want to have your abortion
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
