i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My vagina is officially offended.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
