What did we do last night that was yellow?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
