Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Houston, we have a squirter
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You were trust falling into bushes
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
