i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
