There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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