We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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