How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
