It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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