then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
