just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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