some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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