I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
