Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
