You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
