i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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