we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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